Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

List of the spam I received today (uncensored):

Decreasing Your Blood Sugar Means a Slim Belly in 1 minute, 25% Discount Today

I am-hoping that you feel the same-about-me: koka

Sleep with Someone Else’s Wife Tonight Private Preview expires 01Apr2015.

Notice: Your Auto Warranty might be expired-Replace by 04/01/15, 60% savings

koka, USA Grown Hemp CBD – Treat Your Pain Naturally

Harvard Medical Neuro Evaluation-Divulged How You Can Undo Loss of Memory, Start Now

koka, Is your neighbor a criminal?

Fwd: Mayo Clinic Analysis-Wipe Out Diabetes Decay in just 18 days

Breaking News: Taking a Pill Can Make You Smarter, Free-Shipping Ends at midnight

Do you want perfect vision?

TODAY-ONLY! Receive-$100 Off Your ENTIRE Bill-at-Walgreens! Customer No. 14198768392

Important: Take a Look at Your Equifax Status for Updates, Within 24 Hours

I can make you win the lotto with this.

Having issues sleeping? fix your brain with this

Michelle Money’s Beauty Tips, Chili Lime Popcorn, Google’s April Fools’ Trick, and Everything Else You Missed This Week

Breaking News: Biggest Govt Lie: “Our Food is Safe”

Your recent visit to Walgreens.

RE: Double Check Your Equifax Status for Variations, by Apr. 1, 2015

Koka, Get Your Federal Grant Check in 12 days

1.59% Card Processing No Set Up Fee

Re: Review Your Equifax History for Differences, ASAP

Notice: Your Lower Home-Rate, Valid until 01Apr2015

Diabetes Industry is Freaking out by Super-fruit

MUST SEE: 1 Trick to Lose 30lbs in 30-days – 16847905

Notice: Someone Ran Your Background Check on 4-1-15 No. 11541235

19 მიზეზი თუ რატომ უნდა გახსნა ეს წერილი [apparently this language is Georgian; translation: 19 reasons why you need to open this letter]

HOT DEALS ON BIZRATE! Amazing Deals on Samsung Smart TVs!!!

Re: Nobel Prize Winner Reveals How to Turn Back the Aging Clock, Report 21847643

Are Looking for a Little Hanky-Panky? Invitation expires 04/01/2015.

Alert: Your Automotive Warranty is now expired-Replace by 01Apr2015, Save 60%

Our new yogurt is flavored INSIDE the cow! [this was incorrectly marked as spam but was actually from Stonyfield Farms]

Find out your parent’s past crimes!

Alzheimer’s Assoc Neurological Research-Uncovered Methods to Reverse Early-Stage Alzheimer’s, Start Today

Forbes: Famous Celebrity Thanks “Limitless” Brain Pill Maker, Free-Shipping Ends Today

Urgent: Double Check Your Experian Rating for Discrepancies, Within 24 Hours

Breaking: NASA Analysis-Undo Diabetes Tissue Damage in as few as 2.5 weeks

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